Post by zekedavis on Mar 8, 2021 0:50:03 GMT
“What the fuck kinda… backwoods.. Knockoff bullshit is this?!”
Zeke Davis, having just stepped out of a 1997 Toyota Corolla, observes the situation before him.
“Of course Tony would end up with the Blue Waffle Carpet. Jesus Christ.”
Still, there’s work to do, a message to send and more importantly keys to toss in the direction of an unsuspecting individual who clearly isn’t a valet. Not that it really mattered. He could have left his old, leaky Corolla parked right where it wasn’t. Nobody was taking that shit. In fact deep down Zeke was probably hoping and praying that that shit would end up getting towed and he wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.
Reaching into the pocket of a pair of ripped, worn out jeans (what, you thought Zeke was going to dress with any modicum of class? Come on nwo) and adorns his face with a fresh new pair of Okley sunglasses. No, you didn’t misread that and no it’s not a typo. Those are one hundred percent knock of Oakley sunglasses that he bought from some guy a few blocks before arriving. Fuck with him.
“Hey… HEY OVER HERE?!”
Zeke gestures toward a few of the people who have gathered to watch this event and to enjoy the festivities before hand. They don’t seem to be all that interested in him. Really they seem annoyed to have been sucked into the inescapable tractor beam that is the ego of Zeke Davis. All the same, though, he reaches into the other pocket of his torn jeans and pulls out a handful of folded up papers.
“It’s a big week for me, you know. Huge. Gigantic. GIRTHY. Because Freak Daddy Zeke just found out that he’s going to be Girl Daddy Zeke. See… SEE?!”
Unfolding the papers he shoves them into the hands of the few who have gathered by him, though they weren’t really all that willing to accept what he was offering them. What is it that he’s passing out? Just photocopied shots of Carson’s most recent sonogram that revealed the gender of their child to be.
“Now I know my opponent for tonight likes to talk about Legacy. And he’s got that whole stupid like, real life Lion King look going on. We get it bro, you want a part in the live action Moana film. But let me break it down real simply for each and every one of you, alright?”
He pauses, building suspense. There’s no real suspense though, just a bunch of people wishing he’d say what the fuck he has to say and get on with it already.
“This shit? It’s Pride Rock and I’m mother fucking Simba. I’m the king of this place lying in wait. TUT wants to talk about legacy. But me? I live in there here and now and tonight in that ring that’s waiting for us, I’m going to obliterate TUT like he’s the old ass lion that just got tossed off the mountainside. There ain’t shit he can do about it. It’s just the goddamn circle of life. It moves us all and it’s moving me straight to the top. There’s no other option. No other choice.”
Oh he feels real good about that one. Real creative. Like he’s Bill Shakespeare. What a fucking tool, right?
“Tony’s has been covered in shadow of old ass bitches who won’t go the fuck away, retard grape growers that should be calling about your cars extended warranty and not disgracing a wrestling ring, and whatever the fuck Santana Johnson can be classified as. But no more. I’ve bought in. Tony’s Cheap Pops has the fullness of my attention now. And I swear to fucking god…”
He pauses again for a heartbeat.
“My daughter deserves to be a princess. So I’m done waiting… to be king.”
Finally deciding to be done talking to the people on the blue carpet, Zeke brushes past them like they’re beneath him. They all breathe a sigh of relief and watch as he disappears out of sight, humming a familiar disney tune as he goes.
Zeke Davis, having just stepped out of a 1997 Toyota Corolla, observes the situation before him.
“Of course Tony would end up with the Blue Waffle Carpet. Jesus Christ.”
Still, there’s work to do, a message to send and more importantly keys to toss in the direction of an unsuspecting individual who clearly isn’t a valet. Not that it really mattered. He could have left his old, leaky Corolla parked right where it wasn’t. Nobody was taking that shit. In fact deep down Zeke was probably hoping and praying that that shit would end up getting towed and he wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.
Reaching into the pocket of a pair of ripped, worn out jeans (what, you thought Zeke was going to dress with any modicum of class? Come on nwo) and adorns his face with a fresh new pair of Okley sunglasses. No, you didn’t misread that and no it’s not a typo. Those are one hundred percent knock of Oakley sunglasses that he bought from some guy a few blocks before arriving. Fuck with him.
“Hey… HEY OVER HERE?!”
Zeke gestures toward a few of the people who have gathered to watch this event and to enjoy the festivities before hand. They don’t seem to be all that interested in him. Really they seem annoyed to have been sucked into the inescapable tractor beam that is the ego of Zeke Davis. All the same, though, he reaches into the other pocket of his torn jeans and pulls out a handful of folded up papers.
“It’s a big week for me, you know. Huge. Gigantic. GIRTHY. Because Freak Daddy Zeke just found out that he’s going to be Girl Daddy Zeke. See… SEE?!”
Unfolding the papers he shoves them into the hands of the few who have gathered by him, though they weren’t really all that willing to accept what he was offering them. What is it that he’s passing out? Just photocopied shots of Carson’s most recent sonogram that revealed the gender of their child to be.
“Now I know my opponent for tonight likes to talk about Legacy. And he’s got that whole stupid like, real life Lion King look going on. We get it bro, you want a part in the live action Moana film. But let me break it down real simply for each and every one of you, alright?”
He pauses, building suspense. There’s no real suspense though, just a bunch of people wishing he’d say what the fuck he has to say and get on with it already.
“This shit? It’s Pride Rock and I’m mother fucking Simba. I’m the king of this place lying in wait. TUT wants to talk about legacy. But me? I live in there here and now and tonight in that ring that’s waiting for us, I’m going to obliterate TUT like he’s the old ass lion that just got tossed off the mountainside. There ain’t shit he can do about it. It’s just the goddamn circle of life. It moves us all and it’s moving me straight to the top. There’s no other option. No other choice.”
Oh he feels real good about that one. Real creative. Like he’s Bill Shakespeare. What a fucking tool, right?
“Tony’s has been covered in shadow of old ass bitches who won’t go the fuck away, retard grape growers that should be calling about your cars extended warranty and not disgracing a wrestling ring, and whatever the fuck Santana Johnson can be classified as. But no more. I’ve bought in. Tony’s Cheap Pops has the fullness of my attention now. And I swear to fucking god…”
He pauses again for a heartbeat.
“My daughter deserves to be a princess. So I’m done waiting… to be king.”
Finally deciding to be done talking to the people on the blue carpet, Zeke brushes past them like they’re beneath him. They all breathe a sigh of relief and watch as he disappears out of sight, humming a familiar disney tune as he goes.