Post by babatunde on Mar 7, 2021 23:54:14 GMT
"Never have I ever..."
Getting a practice run in, before the big event is Babatunde Garamunde, outside The Bricktown Local Theatre.
"Been on de baloo karpet."
Dressed in a traditional dashiki and kufi cap, he giggles looking in awe at the fluorescent blue carpet beneath his feet. He kneels down and strokes it with his hand, causing carpet friction on his arm.
"OH NOE! THE FLOOR BE ATTACKING ME. OBALDAGDOADOWHDOWHJE!"
Babatunde bounces to his feet, holding his arm in pain from the carpet burn.
"Yanoe back en Namibia when Baba growd up, never see filum. Never seen what you sey in America? Pley? Deerama?"
He nodded, thinking that was right. Film, Play, Drama is what he was asking about. Especially for Tony who doesn't appear to appreciate the nuances of Baba's phonetic speaking as he tries to learn English.
"Of-vee-us-lee Namibia have culture now in 2021. We have many see-nee-mas, de thee-het-argh, for shows and udder tingz. But growing up... Baba never get opportunity to see all dis, coz working hard on farm. Pressing grapes with feet, make money for family. Show tourist safari, fight animals who try attack tourist. Baba daddy no pay for security... sey to me... Baba you strong young boy... meka sure no animals eat tourist... be bad for business."
Good business was important for Babatunde's family.
"My Uncal Jojo, would go to dese places and get pirate copy of film with camcorder one tourist left on buggy one time. We no have lost and found on our safari tours, only finders keeper loser weepers. It was fun, Uncle JoJo come back show whole village what he record. Mostly just his knees, and the seat infront of him. Uncal Jojo not very good with Camera."
Technology was a wild thing for Baba's Uncle Jojo to grasp.
"But dis week, I go real thee-hat-argh. First time ever. Also first team ever ged to team with beautiful smurf baby love queen Averie."
Babatunde loved Averie more than live itself. Maybe more than his grapes.
"Face very tough oh-poe-nent in Corner and No-elle? No-belle? See Baba littal con-few-zed"
He scratched his head, deep in thought.
"I admit, English not perfect. But I'm pretty sure No-elle name is No-elle... Tony or Tony people who do billboard sey No-elle is called No-belle? Make big mistake."
He kissed his teeth, tutting, and swaying his head back to forth.
"Y'Know who else make big mistake. Man named T.U.T beat up Baba last show after I go flying off bull. Big strong man come fight Baba in Otjiwarongo, see what happens. No be breathing. I tell you."
He wagged his finger, very seriously.
"But Baba, have to focus. Need to learn how to tem gud with beautiful smurf baby love queen Averie. Corner very angry all time, no get fresh trim on haircut long time, look like pubes. Have giant stuck up butt forever make him call himself the devil. No love Jesus. Bad man. Very bad man. I bring holy water for him, make him drink. Jesus will forgive him."
Baba put his hands together in prayer for Connor.
"No-elle also possessed. Listen to bad man. They connected good, like rubber like glue, Averie sey. I tink. I get it..."
He put his hand on his cheek, understanding the wise words of Averie Stardust.
"Me and Averie... what you sey in America... underdogs? Very offensive calling Baba dog. I no dog, I big lion. Brave like lion. Lion can get hit with tranquilizer make him weak, but eventually Lion roar, and eat everybody. Baba no eat anybody, not cannibal. Love gizzard and fufu. Nice meal."
Best African dish.
"Averie like tiger. RAWR! Look cute and cuddly outside. Cow listen to Averie, she like Cow whisperer. Don't mess with Averie though, you get her mad, she go fierce like tiger, rips you apart. May sound silly to you, but Baba no lie. Only tell truth. No-elle and Corner think this easy cake walk for dem. Too much sugar give them diabetes in this tag match, I tell you. Not going to look good when I and beautiful smurf baby love queen Averie cause huge upset. Except nobody be upset. Namibia rejoice. Grapes sales be on the rise. Me and Averie get to go on another date after show, and Corner and No-elle get taught lesson in humility. Don't underestimate Baba and Averie. Or you'll be sorry. JAJAJAJAJAJAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Babatunde chuckled, awaiting the arrival of Averie on the bluest of blue carpets.
Getting a practice run in, before the big event is Babatunde Garamunde, outside The Bricktown Local Theatre.
"Been on de baloo karpet."
Dressed in a traditional dashiki and kufi cap, he giggles looking in awe at the fluorescent blue carpet beneath his feet. He kneels down and strokes it with his hand, causing carpet friction on his arm.
"OH NOE! THE FLOOR BE ATTACKING ME. OBALDAGDOADOWHDOWHJE!"
Babatunde bounces to his feet, holding his arm in pain from the carpet burn.
"Yanoe back en Namibia when Baba growd up, never see filum. Never seen what you sey in America? Pley? Deerama?"
He nodded, thinking that was right. Film, Play, Drama is what he was asking about. Especially for Tony who doesn't appear to appreciate the nuances of Baba's phonetic speaking as he tries to learn English.
"Of-vee-us-lee Namibia have culture now in 2021. We have many see-nee-mas, de thee-het-argh, for shows and udder tingz. But growing up... Baba never get opportunity to see all dis, coz working hard on farm. Pressing grapes with feet, make money for family. Show tourist safari, fight animals who try attack tourist. Baba daddy no pay for security... sey to me... Baba you strong young boy... meka sure no animals eat tourist... be bad for business."
Good business was important for Babatunde's family.
"My Uncal Jojo, would go to dese places and get pirate copy of film with camcorder one tourist left on buggy one time. We no have lost and found on our safari tours, only finders keeper loser weepers. It was fun, Uncle JoJo come back show whole village what he record. Mostly just his knees, and the seat infront of him. Uncal Jojo not very good with Camera."
Technology was a wild thing for Baba's Uncle Jojo to grasp.
"But dis week, I go real thee-hat-argh. First time ever. Also first team ever ged to team with beautiful smurf baby love queen Averie."
Babatunde loved Averie more than live itself. Maybe more than his grapes.
"Face very tough oh-poe-nent in Corner and No-elle? No-belle? See Baba littal con-few-zed"
He scratched his head, deep in thought.
"I admit, English not perfect. But I'm pretty sure No-elle name is No-elle... Tony or Tony people who do billboard sey No-elle is called No-belle? Make big mistake."
He kissed his teeth, tutting, and swaying his head back to forth.
"Y'Know who else make big mistake. Man named T.U.T beat up Baba last show after I go flying off bull. Big strong man come fight Baba in Otjiwarongo, see what happens. No be breathing. I tell you."
He wagged his finger, very seriously.
"But Baba, have to focus. Need to learn how to tem gud with beautiful smurf baby love queen Averie. Corner very angry all time, no get fresh trim on haircut long time, look like pubes. Have giant stuck up butt forever make him call himself the devil. No love Jesus. Bad man. Very bad man. I bring holy water for him, make him drink. Jesus will forgive him."
Baba put his hands together in prayer for Connor.
"No-elle also possessed. Listen to bad man. They connected good, like rubber like glue, Averie sey. I tink. I get it..."
He put his hand on his cheek, understanding the wise words of Averie Stardust.
"Me and Averie... what you sey in America... underdogs? Very offensive calling Baba dog. I no dog, I big lion. Brave like lion. Lion can get hit with tranquilizer make him weak, but eventually Lion roar, and eat everybody. Baba no eat anybody, not cannibal. Love gizzard and fufu. Nice meal."
Best African dish.
"Averie like tiger. RAWR! Look cute and cuddly outside. Cow listen to Averie, she like Cow whisperer. Don't mess with Averie though, you get her mad, she go fierce like tiger, rips you apart. May sound silly to you, but Baba no lie. Only tell truth. No-elle and Corner think this easy cake walk for dem. Too much sugar give them diabetes in this tag match, I tell you. Not going to look good when I and beautiful smurf baby love queen Averie cause huge upset. Except nobody be upset. Namibia rejoice. Grapes sales be on the rise. Me and Averie get to go on another date after show, and Corner and No-elle get taught lesson in humility. Don't underestimate Baba and Averie. Or you'll be sorry. JAJAJAJAJAJAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Babatunde chuckled, awaiting the arrival of Averie on the bluest of blue carpets.
