Post by babatunde on Nov 26, 2020 21:44:57 GMT
Babatunde Garamunde was in a gym getting his pump on, lifting weights to strengthen up his arms for an arm wrestling challenge for the ages on Black Friday against Jersey Jim Luzzatto. In between his reps, he had something to say.
“I be asking Jim long time, let me take some of your vitamins bruddah? See Jim in photo and in bathroom, he big man, got lovestick like a little mouse, his stowmach, eat too many pies very clear, but rest of body jacked up like cyborg from terminator.”
He finished up a set of reps on dumbbells, and then revealed something Jim had said to him, or tweeted to him, many months ago.
“Jim telluh me, eh Baba you carry my bags mekka you strong. Dis bruddah seereeus?”
Babatunde threw the weight on the floor in anger, causing a tiny dent on the concrete floor. He then went on a passionate rant.
“I thought that bruddah Ibrahim Linkcorn fight for justice and abolish slavery long time ago. Apparently all for nutting. What I find out from this is Jim is big raisinist”
Ibrahim Linkcorn was Abraham Lincoln, and raisinist was racist but Babatunde hadn’t fully mastered the English words and no one else watching him had the heart to tell him on his fuckup.
“Yes in Africa we no have raisins, not since bruddah Madiba fight for it in South Africa in 90s.”
Madiba was Nelson Mandela, former President of South Africa, who started a revolution for peaceful race relations.
“His solidarity spread to rest of Africa and apartheid no big issue now. White ladies love black men, Black ladies love white men. I see Jim bring his daughter last show “SPOOKYSZN” merch table, except when I go to buy, she no there. It’s good thing we not see much of her, because she have beautiful body but face like a horse. Maybe Jim fist a hippopotamus in the 80s by accident then baby come. It’s a fact like a cow.
That was a afrikaan idiom for a fact you can’t argue with.
“How this do anything with arm wrestling? I tell you. If you no understand what I do? I work hard in this gym now be prepare. Jim is stronger, have big arm made with drugs yes. Nobody whoop him like a elephant mount a dog to show dominance but I will. I have heart and belief. David beat Goliath. Tomorrow Baba beats Jim. You welcome.”
Babatunde gave a cheeky smile and a thumbs up.
“Now apologies if my English not so good, still learning but it’s progressed since when I first land in America two munts ago and I only knew five words “Show me the boobies please”. In Namibia you say this woman no problem see show. Little bit droopy most time but still good. You say this in America apparently very rude. Many women call the police on me for disturbing peace, police come very grumpy face with guns pointed at me and tell me get on ground “n#%*er”. I no come from Niger, their geography bad. Anyway I comply, we go pohlease station they ask who I am, I tell them Babatunde Garamunde. They ask me spell name, thirty minutes later I give them lots of money then they let me go. After this incident, Tony no ask Baba when are you ready to go be wrestler, he no put me on show for two munts, can you believe it?”
Babatunde couldn’t believe he had been snubbed for so long, but was going to seize his opportunity.
“Today is apparently Thanksgiving in this cunt tree. I not know a lot but what I do know a lot is many years ago white raisins bully native Americans then they decide no be bully anymore and have big meal instead. Lesson of the day for ancestors and for bruddah Jim is don’t be a raisin, be a lion of peace and love. However I no forgive you this easily bruddah Jim, tomorrow I disarm your bazooka arms, I take your vitamins which you should of just give me long ago, and when I embarrass you in front of all the people in the mall, you can go hide like little chicken at a hooters and tell your horse daughter that daddy is a failure. Stick a spoon in the roof.”
That’s an afrikaan euphemism for someone dying i.e Jim. Babatunde went back to focus with his powerlifting as he told the cameraman to leave.
“I be asking Jim long time, let me take some of your vitamins bruddah? See Jim in photo and in bathroom, he big man, got lovestick like a little mouse, his stowmach, eat too many pies very clear, but rest of body jacked up like cyborg from terminator.”
He finished up a set of reps on dumbbells, and then revealed something Jim had said to him, or tweeted to him, many months ago.
“Jim telluh me, eh Baba you carry my bags mekka you strong. Dis bruddah seereeus?”
Babatunde threw the weight on the floor in anger, causing a tiny dent on the concrete floor. He then went on a passionate rant.
“I thought that bruddah Ibrahim Linkcorn fight for justice and abolish slavery long time ago. Apparently all for nutting. What I find out from this is Jim is big raisinist”
Ibrahim Linkcorn was Abraham Lincoln, and raisinist was racist but Babatunde hadn’t fully mastered the English words and no one else watching him had the heart to tell him on his fuckup.
“Yes in Africa we no have raisins, not since bruddah Madiba fight for it in South Africa in 90s.”
Madiba was Nelson Mandela, former President of South Africa, who started a revolution for peaceful race relations.
“His solidarity spread to rest of Africa and apartheid no big issue now. White ladies love black men, Black ladies love white men. I see Jim bring his daughter last show “SPOOKYSZN” merch table, except when I go to buy, she no there. It’s good thing we not see much of her, because she have beautiful body but face like a horse. Maybe Jim fist a hippopotamus in the 80s by accident then baby come. It’s a fact like a cow.
That was a afrikaan idiom for a fact you can’t argue with.
“How this do anything with arm wrestling? I tell you. If you no understand what I do? I work hard in this gym now be prepare. Jim is stronger, have big arm made with drugs yes. Nobody whoop him like a elephant mount a dog to show dominance but I will. I have heart and belief. David beat Goliath. Tomorrow Baba beats Jim. You welcome.”
Babatunde gave a cheeky smile and a thumbs up.
“Now apologies if my English not so good, still learning but it’s progressed since when I first land in America two munts ago and I only knew five words “Show me the boobies please”. In Namibia you say this woman no problem see show. Little bit droopy most time but still good. You say this in America apparently very rude. Many women call the police on me for disturbing peace, police come very grumpy face with guns pointed at me and tell me get on ground “n#%*er”. I no come from Niger, their geography bad. Anyway I comply, we go pohlease station they ask who I am, I tell them Babatunde Garamunde. They ask me spell name, thirty minutes later I give them lots of money then they let me go. After this incident, Tony no ask Baba when are you ready to go be wrestler, he no put me on show for two munts, can you believe it?”
Babatunde couldn’t believe he had been snubbed for so long, but was going to seize his opportunity.
“Today is apparently Thanksgiving in this cunt tree. I not know a lot but what I do know a lot is many years ago white raisins bully native Americans then they decide no be bully anymore and have big meal instead. Lesson of the day for ancestors and for bruddah Jim is don’t be a raisin, be a lion of peace and love. However I no forgive you this easily bruddah Jim, tomorrow I disarm your bazooka arms, I take your vitamins which you should of just give me long ago, and when I embarrass you in front of all the people in the mall, you can go hide like little chicken at a hooters and tell your horse daughter that daddy is a failure. Stick a spoon in the roof.”
That’s an afrikaan euphemism for someone dying i.e Jim. Babatunde went back to focus with his powerlifting as he told the cameraman to leave.
